Confessions of a Novice Writer: A Sneak Peek at One Page of “Sincerely Claire’s” Edits

I confess! I still have a whole lot to learn, especially about overuse of names and being an expert on Deep Point of View. Below is one page of my editor’s suggestions. I still have a lot of work ahead on “Sincerely Claire.” Prayer for me to make my deadline would be a blessing!

“SINCERELY CLAIRE”: A PAGE FROM CHAPTER THREE

Claire headed outside and walked the long driveway to their mailbox. The apples in their orchard were still green with a few yellow and reds. Her mouth watered as she hurried past the almost-ripe figs.

Approaching the bridge for Clear Creek, a whistle tweet sounded nearby. She stopped and scanned the area near their swimming hole. A and a movement caught her eye. Liam and Grayson waved their arms at her. Were they up to mischief? Laddie broke into a gallop toward Claireher and.so did the Theboys. ran also, drawinAs they gotg closer, she couldn’t figure out what they were  and hollering., Claire didn’t know what.

“Over here, Claire.,” Liam hollered. Her brothers ran in the opposite direction from where they had come fromcame. That got her attention right quick. Laddie yipped at her and licked her arm.

Within twenty feet of the boys, Claire she strained to see anything which that could have excited her brothersthem. She watched Liam bent bend down and grabbed grab a stick. He twirled it around. Both as both boys laughed. The “‘stick”’ curled upward, moving like a slow motion rope.

Halting it right there, Claire took a backward step. “Ah, no.” She pinched her nose as they walked closer, still holding the snake. They passed it between them. “You know I hate those stinky  things.”

Grayson stared at the snake in his hand. “Oh , Claire, this kind of snake doesn’t stink.”

Keeping her nose pinched between her thumb and forefinger, she shook her head. “Yes, they doit does. All snakes stink.” She dance-hopped a step from them. “Keep it away from—”

But Liam whipped it at her. She screamed and covered her head with her arms.

Liam He laughed.while her other brother Grayson giggled like a girl.

Claire She ran. “Not funny.”

She hurried to the mail box across the road, placed the letter inside, and raised the flag. She took a step and bumped into Liam. TheLiam—the snake in his hand curled to meet her face. Its head was so near. Its as its tongue flicked. She screeched and jumped. Moving past Liam, Claire ran home. She grumbled. “Boys. All they think about is reptiles and getting into trouble.”

Moving past Liam, Claireshe ran home.

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